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Proactive Parenting

Be Specific   Hey parents, have you ever had the experience where your child does not listen to you and you respond with yelling at him, or? First of all, if this is a new problem it is a good plan to get a physical check up with your pediatrician to rule out any medical problems. The last thing we want is to get angry at a child that can't hear us because he is losing his … [Read more...]

Building Skills

When I’m asked what my job at Lifeways is, I always stop, pause, and reply “I’m a skills trainer.”  Invariably, they will next ask, “What’s that?”  Again, I stop, take a big breath, and reply “Well…it’s a lot of things.”  As I explain, they tend to doze off, or they look at their watch and say “Hey, I really gotta go.”  So, I guess I’ll give you the short version.   To help clients, the … [Read more...]


Most 6-year-olds know that alcohol is only for adults. Yet, between the ages of 9 and 13, youth begin to think that alcohol use is okay.  As youth grow older, the chance that they use alcohol grows.  Approximately 10% of 12 year olds say they have used alcohol at least once.  By the age of 13 that number doubles.  And by the age of 15, approximately 50% have had at least one drink. That’s why … [Read more...]

Teenage Violence

Who can forget that beautiful spring day at Columbine High School in Colorado?  Two outcast boys chose to kill as many of their peers as they could, and then to take their own lives.  Bombs they had set to destroy the school and kill more people failed to explode, or there would have been a worse tragedy. We have seen many similar events happen since that terrible day.  It is therefore important … [Read more...]

The Effect of Economic Woe

We see the signs everywhere.  The economy is bad. Oregon has higher unemployment than most states. Malheur County’s unemployment rate is even higher than the state average.  Surviving and taking care of our families in this difficult financial time is very hard.  What we often do not see is the impact of all this on our children. Make no mistake, children know when something is wrong.  Younger … [Read more...]

It’s Not Like the Movies

You may remember old movies like So You Married an Ax Murderer: the general storylines are about mentally ill people who terrorize or kill people. These movies might be funny, or maybe scary, and sometimes just plain gruesome. But like most movies, this type is not realistic – there’s a reason it’s called fiction. The problem is that stereotypes we see in the movies or read about are based more on … [Read more...]

The Power of Natural Consequences

Simply put, natural consequences are those results that follow an action. For example, if you eat too much at Thanksgiving your stomach hurts for a few hours. Natural consequences can be a great tool for parents and care givers to use in disciplining their children. A parent or caregiver does not become the proverbial bad guy or girl and they do not require parents or care givers to develop or … [Read more...]

One Mentor’s Experience

I became involved with mentoring through Lifeways just over a year ago.  At that time, the program was in its infancy.  The program is under the direction of Sandra Shelton and is supervised by Jennifer Yturriondobetia, who has been the driving force behind this program.  In a way, the program is like Big Brothers and Big Sisters but it is more structured and goes much deeper.  The local Lifeways … [Read more...]


There are a couple of different ways we can look at anger.  There is the physical aspect, and there is the thinking aspect.   Back in caveman days when humans lived in caves and had to fight of saber toothed tigers at the door, our bodies developed a wonderful hormone that makes us super strong.  That hormone is adrenaline.  The character “The Incredible Hulk” is an example of how this … [Read more...]